I hate Beaumont, California.

Unfortunately, my mom moved us here when I was in 4th grade. I don't know what drew her to this little bum-fuck-egypt town with NOTHING to do and almost NO good people in it. Its just a bunch of BORING, OLD, STUPID SHITHOLES that make me wanna rip my eyeballs out of my sockets I'm so bored with everything. (oh, in case you haven't already noticed, I'm ranting in this one.)

I was just looking up the high school I WOULD'VE gone to if my mom had never moved us. San Mateo High. It has LOCKERS. It's INDOORS. With HALLWAYS AND STAIRS. School starts at EIGHT O'CLOCK. LIKE A NORMAL HIGH SCHOOL SHOULD. Not fucking 7:30 LIKE BEAUMONT HIGH. And, its FUCKING BEAUTIFUL too. I wanna scream it's so much better than where I am.

Now, don't get me wrong, I love the friends I've made at BHS. I wouldn't trade them for anything in the world. But I just have been feeling like I could be, SHOULD BE doing so much more with my adolecence than sitting around, TRYING TO LIVE in that piece-of-crap, town. I mean, these are supposed to be the most memorable, fun times in my life, right? Than why are most of my memories here about sitting on my ass, bored out of my mind, with NOTHING TO DO AND NOWHERE TO GO. I'm 16-years-old for God's sake and I've NEVER KISSED A BOY. I'M WASTEING MY LIFE. And I'm so goddamn sick if it I wanna SCREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAMMMM!!!!

God...I wish I could change things...but I can't. Beaumont's not my home. But San Diego (where my dad lives) isn't my home either. I belong in Northern California. Where I was raised. I can't wait to get the fuck out of here, but I don't want to leave after I've wasted my last 2 years at this school. I wanna leave NOW and LIVE FOR ONCE.

Jesus...sorry you guys...I've just been feeling really shitty lately about my future and stuff...I have no idea what I'm going to be doing with my life 10 or even 5 years from now so I'm just thinking I need some peace of mind and normalcy right now so maybe I can get on the right track.

Thanks for listening.
Michelle.